


Blue On Blue

by jacinth



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Break Up, Depression, Friendship, Halloween Costumes, Insomnia, Jealousy, M/M, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, Possessive Behavior, Protective Harry, Sad Louis, Summer Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-05 22:08:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5392088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacinth/pseuds/jacinth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a summer fling, Louis gets his heart broken when the boy, Harry, tells him they can't be "friends" anymore once the school year starts. In the weeks that follow he forces himself to ignore Harry's existence for the sake of his own sanity and fakes a smile daily for the sake of his mother's. </p><p>When his childhood best friend moves to town, things start to look up... until Louis finds out he's pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue On Blue

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to get this posted FOREVER but things kept getting in the way! Now I finally have a bit of time!
> 
> ( Note: This is how I picture my OC Sterling https://38.media.tumblr.com/fdf27930a56bce5ae74f7d4557b05883/tumblr_nilz0y0a6K1u6lhf4o2_500.gif - Because Charlie's face is ridiculous)
> 
> Anyway! Sorry for the wait! And sorry for any mistakes!

_Like the naked leads the blind_  
_I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind_  
_Sucker love I always find,_  
_Someone to bruise and leave behind_

Mornings were either a gift or a curse. Louis couldn't decide which as he sagged against the side of the bathtub, chest heaving after a particularly violent round of throwing up. Closing his eyes, Louis rested his sticky, damp forehead against the cool porcelain in an attempt to ease the nausea. This was the second week in a row and Louis knew it wasn't a good thing. He hadn't been well for a while, the lack of appetite and sleep finally catching up with his body and Louis had never been what anyone would describe as 'sturdy' before. Louis swallowed convulsively and took a few deep breaths before dragging himself to his feet. Tiredly, he reached over to turn on the shower and undressed, chucking his pyjamas into the hamper. The lukewarm water poured down on his overheated skin, soothing him and quelling his nausea as he adjusted the temperature to cool despite the autumn morning. After letting the water do its job he reached for his favourite shampoo, the scent of blueberry waking his senses and clearing his mind.

Louis cleaned his teeth in the shower to save time and quickly towelled off, leaving his hair to air dry; he was wearing a beanie anyway. After racing around his room Louis pulled on a pair of jeans and frowned as he looked down. These were his tightest jeans; they were too loose now. They had been skin tight at the beginning of summer...which was why he barely ever wore them. Sighing in annoyance he kicked out of them and yanked on his favourite red sweatpants and long sleeve navy T-shirt. Finally, he examined himself in the mirror. His lip curled a little at the sight but it was good enough for the first day back to school.

The loud tick of the rain bouncing off the house made him sigh. It was England so it wasn't really all that surprising but Louis just wasn't in the mood for God's clever metaphors. Grabbing his bag and keys he quickly made his way down the stairs and streaked past the kitchen before his mum could make him eat and he'd have to spend the next hour curled in a miserable ball next to the nearest toilet. The rain's welcome coolness on his skin made him pause a moment as he reached his car: a little blue 1999 Nissan Micra. It was crappy but it got him where he needed to go and it was the first thing he'd ever bought himself so he was kind of proud of it. He tilted his face towards the sky, breathing in the Autumn air.

Inside the car Louis tugged his beanie off and turned the heater on, laying it on the dash to dry on the way to school. Unfortunately it was a forty-five minute drive since their house was in the country. Some days he didn't mind using the alone time to gather his thoughts; other days he just wanted to get there and get back and crawl into his bed and never leave. Switching on the radio Louis turned it up loud enough to drown out his thoughts and pulled out of the drive, keeping his mind carefully blank of the worries that would swamp him otherwise.

About twenty minutes later he reached the small town halfway between his house and the school and decided to stop for some ginger ale and a packet of plain crackers; his stomach should be able to handle that, right? He grabbed a foam cup of tea too just for the caffeine kick even though he was pretty sure he wouldn't drink it. After downing half the ginger ale and choking down three crackers he was on the road again.

As Louis pulled into the school parking lot he groaned out loud; he'd been hoping that since it was raining everyone would be inside but of course not! His luck wasn't that good. Most of the students were still hanging out in the lot, leaning against their cars and chatting. Louis avoided a specific parking spot by about ten miles as he parked as far away from the entrance as possible. He sat a moment, eyes scanning lot, grinding his teeth when they landed on the sleek black Bentley near the entrance. What teenager needed a car that expensive for God's sake?!

Taking a few deep not so calming breaths, Louis snatched his beanie off the dash and chucked it in his bag before donning his dark brown raincoat; putting the hood up as he stepped out into the rain. Tugging the strap of his bag over his right shoulder Louis kept his head down as he walked quickly towards the school, praying he wouldn't be noticed until he was safely inside.

The closer he got to the entrance and that Bentley, Louis could see four figures leaning against the hood, not at all phased by the rain. Of course, when you looked like a runway model 24/7 you wouldn't be, would you? Louis wanted to screech in frustration when he saw Grimshaw was part of the group; the asshole hated him for some reason and the sentiment was returned wholeheartedly. _Pleasepleasepleaseplease_ he chanted internally as he came up on the rear of the car,  _don't notice me pleasepleaseplease_.

“Look what the cat dragged in!”

 Damn it.

Regardless, Louis ignored the taunt, keeping his eyes straight ahead so he wouldn't see the figure next to Grimshaw who was probably laughing along. “Oi! Tomlinson!”

Louis gave them the finger over his shoulder and kept walking.

 -:-

The morning was relatively uneventful. And shockingly, Grimshaw left him alone. Louis didn't trust the peacefulness would last however. That shitsponge was probably lulling him into a false sense of security before he struck.

The sound of a loud cackle had Louis sliding down further in his seat, his gaze snapping to the window next to his table in an attempt to avoid the figure coming his way. It was his first day back to school, surely his luck could not be this bad? Surely the God's would take pity on his poor little soul?

“Sitting all by your lonesome Tomlinson?”

Or not.

He bloody hated Grimshaw. “I'd ask you to sit with us but... you're a loser so.”

Fiddling with the half-empty bottle of cranberry juice in front of him Louis looked at Nick's rat face over the rim of his glasses, “I would rather be shot into space naked than sit next to any one of you.” He said lightly, purposely ignoring the figure standing to rat-boy’s left. Not that it mattered as said figure was ignoring him right back. When Nick didn't move Louis huffed, “Don't you have a goat you should be calling mum or something?”

“You little-”

“Nick.”

Louis used every ounce of his will to keep from reacting to that voice. The voice he'd heard hoarse and breathless above him not three months ago... the voice that had whispered words of love one moment and told him they didn't belong together the next... fuck. It took everything he had to stay seated and not flee from the room. He didn't look up as they walked to their usual table.

“Looks like your morning was as good as mine,”

Slowly, Louis glanced up from his uneaten lunch to cast a withering look at Niall, who threw his hands up, looking scared of Louis' temper. “Had a run-in with-”

“Don't.” Louis said calmly. Too calmly; a tone that told Niall he should shut his trap if he valued his life. Louis never wanted to hear _that_ name again. “What do you want, Niall?”

“Just wanted to sit with ya! Christ you're grumpy lately,” Niall muttered, mouth snapping shut at the look of utter rage Louis threw at him. “I won't say another word.”

-:-

With a sigh of relief Louis dropped his bag next to his desk and collapsed face-first on his bed, groaning as he rolled onto his back. He'd done it, he'd made it through one miserable day; only another trillion to go. As long as he was another day closer to graduation, another day closer to leaving this hole of a town and getting as far away from _him_ as possible he could do it. Not that _he_ would care if Louis left. Growling, Louis cursed himself for slipping and allowing himself to think of the jerk. Shoving off the bed he moved to grab his headphones off the dresser and put his playlist on shuffle; might as well get his homework done.

At one in the morning Louis kicked his blankets off and sat up, pushing his fringe out of his eyes; sleep wasn't going to come, just like it hadn't for the last few months; he was lucky to get three or four hours. If it weren't for catnaps Louis would probably be dead by now. He sighed, it was just one of those weeks, or months, or years _whatever_. Out of habit, he reached for his phone and went through his contacts, stopping dead when his thumb hovered over 'Haz'. Huffing, he angrily threw the phone back on the desk and headed downstairs for a snack. It had been over two months; Louis needed to get over this already. Harry certainly had.

Pouring himself a bowl of cereal, Louis sat at the table and stared out the window as he ate; the cold dreary night comforting in a way. He thought of his phone – he needed to delete Harry as a contact; one of these nights the fact that they were no longer together wasn't going to register in time. Sneering to himself, Louis pushed the bowl away. Harry still had power over him and he hated it; hated himself for being so weak, for ever falling for the other boy in the first place when he had known how it would end. He regretted ever saying 'yes' on the beach that night. Why had his mum dragged them to gran's summer house this year? Why had he been stupid enough to fall for those pretty words (lies) and soft kisses? These questions swirled in his mind constantly and he knew he had to let it go; he couldn't change the past, but he could control his future.

After making some herbal tea with the hope that it would put him out for a few hours, Louis climbed the stairs and curled up on his bed. Again, after an hour, it became clear it wasn't happening. Finally giving up, Louis got up and brought his laptop back to bed, deciding to watch a film. He selected Scream and wrapped himself in his blankets – nothing like a good slasher flick to take one's mind off of things.

-:-

A week later Louis wasn't feeling much better. One morning after exactly twenty minutes of sleep, spilling the contents of his stomach into the toilet three times, and a quick shower, Louis stared at his pallid complexion in the partially steamed up mirror as he got ready for school. The dark circles under his sunken, sleep deprived eyes stood out against the unhealthy pallor of his skin and the paleness of his usually pink lips. He looked like death warmed over or 'hammered shite' as Niall would so kindly put it. Spitting into the sink and sticking his toothbrush back in its holder, Louis opened the cabinet and took out his mum's concealer. Thanks to the make-up no one seemed to notice his sallow look which was a blessing. His mum would drag him off to the doctor and he refused to be pumped to the gills with drugs (unless absolutely necessary) and he knew that's what would happen. Sighing, he applied the makeup where it was needed, noting that he had to use more as the days passed. Satisfied that he didn't look like zombie, he quickly ran a brush through his damp hair and threw on his favourite grey beanie, grabbing his bag on his way down the stairs.

Louis slowed as he reached the end of the hallway leading to the kitchen when he heard voices.

“Good morning Louis!” Jay greeted. As he walked into the kitchen he saw two people sitting at the island with his mum. He paused, holding his bag in front of him. “You remember Ella McTavish and her son Sterling!” She gestured to the ginger-haired woman and the tall blond boy at her side. Suddenly it clicked.

Louis felt his eyebrows raised in surprise. “Yeah! Hey wow. Hi.” At least you could pass off his confused stutter as morning brain. He hoped. Forcing himself to smile, albeit awkwardly, as his mum passed a mug of sweet creamy coffee to him, he silently prayed it would stay down before he took a mouthful. He glanced at Sterling; the boy had been his best friend during the summers when his family visited from Bristol, but they had stopped coming when Louis was thirteen and he'd always wondered why. Sterling grinned at him, looking him up and down and...oh no. He knew that look. Louis was not here for _that_. He smiled back but his lips were tight. Ella explained that she and Marcus were divorced and that they had moved to start fresh.

Louis tried to ignore the looks Sterling kept throwing his way as he fought to eat his scrambled eggs without puking again and loaded up on three more cups of much needed caffeine which earned a few odd glances from Jay. Just as he stood to leave Sterling stood as well, “Can I give you ride... to school?”

Pausing with narrowed eyes, Louis was about to refuse, but he could see the way their mothers were smiling at them and each other. It made him grit his teeth. He nodded, “Sure, thanks.”

Outside, Louis paused when he saw the car Sterling was heading for – Sterling was spoiled it seemed, but Louis could have guessed that just by the way he dressed: Burberry leather jacket over a designer sweater and jeans. As Louis neared the shiny grey BMW he couldn't help but let his fingers trail along the hood appreciatively; it was a lot prettier than his shitty little Nissan. “Wow,” He breathed.

Sterling smirked at him. “Birthday present.”

“I'm spending all my birthdays at your house,” Louis smiled back as the car revved to life and backed out of the drive.

“That could be arranged,” Sterling said with a wink.

Louis blushed.

Sterling seemed to understand that Louis wasn't in a talkative mood and reached over to turn the radio on blast. Louis smiled gratefully and settled into his seat, enjoying the way the music vibrated through the car in a way that was impossible with his own ratty speakers.

Nothing But Thieves' _Trip Switch_  was blaring as they pulled into the school parking lot and as Louis saw multiple heads turn to look at the sleek car, Louis realized he was with the new kid. And people would _notice_. Louis hated being noticed. And they _would_ get noticed. 

When Sterling backed into an empty space Louis went rigid in his seat; parked directly across from them was Harry's Bentley. Sitting on the hood wearing ray bans and a Ramones T-Shirt with his current flavour of the week on his arm was Harry himself, surrounded by his clique. Louis ground his teeth; even they seemed to have noticed the BMW. Thank fuck the windows were tinted or they would be able to see Louis glaring at the blonde bimbo on Harry's arm. Sterling noticed however. “You okay?”

“Fucking peachy,” He growled, then shook his head and smiled again. “Didn't sleep too well is all.” He looked up and felt his stomach flip at the way his old friend was looking down at him with concern. Sterling was cute, he noted. Strong square jaw, lovely full bow-shaped mouth, blue eyes framed by blond hair. If Louis wasn't so...fucked up at the moment he might have considered... well. But he was. So.

Sterling's mouth pulled up on one side and he patted Louis' knee before opening the door, then raised his hand to halt Louis when he reached for his own handle. Louis blushed as he realized what Sterling was doing. Louis couldn't help but feel a little better than he had when he'd first forced himself out of bed when his alarm went off after barely twenty minutes of sleep and smiled at the other boy as he opened and held the car door for him. Ignoring the curious looks from all the students – including the ones across the lot – he climbed out of the car, lifting his bag over his left shoulder as Sterling threw an arm around him. Immediately he felt multiple pairs of eyes on him – on them – but he ignored it, allowing himself to lean into his old friend and taking comfort in the fact that he wasn't alone.

The fact that Harry was seeing him with another boy was making him quite euphoric as well; not that he wanted to make the jerk jealous, he wasn't worth it. It was the idea that Harry would see and know Louis wasn't stuck on him (not that he was ever stuck on him) that made him giddy. After all it was pretty embarrassing to walk around alone all the time when the bloke who dumped you had someone new a day later.

Without his consent, Louis' mind wandered back to the summer. Harry had been so jealous, so possessive whenever another boy even looked in Louis' direction – which happened more often than Louis had ever noticed before apparently. ' _You don't know how gorgeous you are, do you?_ ' Harry would whisper in his ear and Louis would blush and hide his face against the other boy's neck. Harry had played the part extremely well; really, the performance was Oscar worthy. Louis had actually believed Harry loved him. How stupid and gullible and childish he was. He had given up his virginity beneath the stars only to be told, ' _It was fun, but this is over when school starts_.'

“Who's your boyfriend Tomlinson?” Louis froze, the question had come from Harry's group. From Grimshaw, more specifically. Before Louis could open his mouth, Sterling stopped walking and turned his head to look in their direction, keeping his arm around Louis' shoulders. When he turned to face them, Louis gripped his side tight.

“It's okay Louis,” Sterling assured as a challenging smile spread across his face. “I'm just going to introduce myself.” Oh Christ, Louis thought,  _another one_. Keeping quiet, Louis allowed himself to be pulled along until Sterling stopped in front of the group, right in front of Nick Grimshaw.

Sterling held out his hand, but his face clearly said 'don't fuck with me'. “Sterling McTavish.”

Nick's usual smugness faded, unused to being confronted. Louis bit his lip to hide his smile as the group stared at him and Sterling. To his left, he could feel one gaze in particular burning a hole in the side of his head and he happily ignored it along with the prickle of awareness that surged over his skin like an electrical current. Harry was probably shocked that someone could possibly want him. The idea hurt, and Louis leaned further into Sterling's side, dragging the toe of his left shoe behind his right shoe. He always stood with his legs crossed; nervous habit maybe, but he felt quite good just then.

“Anymore questions?” Sterling tilted his head with a smile. “No? Good. Louis?” He tugged Louis towards the sidewalk leading to the front doors and Louis couldn't stop himself from pressing his face into Sterling's shoulder and laughing. “You like that?” Sterling asked and Louis just laughed harder, feeling better than he had in weeks. He hadn't realized how much he had missed his old friend.

-:-

“Can I ask you something?” Sterling asked after school as they lounged on Louis' bed finishing up their homework.

“Shoot,” Louis glanced up and smiled around the pencil he was currently chewing on. He pretended not to notice the way Sterling's eyes lingered on his mouth – Louis wasn't ready for anything like that just yet.

“This morning, those kids... the dark haired one kept staring at you...” Sterling trailed off and Louis wanted to snort, ' _because he hates me_ '.

“Dark hair? _That_ narrows it down.”

Sterling raised a brow. “Curly hair, chews gum like a twat?”

“Harry.” Louis choked back a laugh, “His name's Harry.”

“There's a story there.” Sterling prodded, “At first I thought he maybe had a crush on you or something, but you tensed next to me.”

Sighing loudly, Louis blew his fringe up. Why not? “Uhm, we sort of had this _thing_ , during summer.”

When Sterling didn't interrupt he exhaled loudly and continued somewhat unwillingly. “We - me and mum - were staying at my grandparents' summerhouse and uh, his family owns the neighour place - I never saw them come to think of it.” Louis picked at his pinky nail. “I went for a walk on the beach early one morning and....he had the same idea. We talked and ended up spending the whole day together. After that we... spent everyday together. We...” Louis exhaled sharply, slamming his textbook shut and shoving it away. “And when it was done, he said that we couldn't continue being 'friends' once school started. I've never been so humiliated,” Louis swallowed convulsively to hold back the emotions he'd kept bottled since that night. “I feel so stupid.”

The bed moved then, and Sterling was next to him, rubbing a hand soothingly over his back. Louis' stomach clenched and he scrambled up to wrap himself around his friend, his small body wracked with shudders as he sobbed, releasing over two months of pent up hurt and anger.

“You're _not_ stupid,” Sterling muttered softly, still rubbing Louis' back. Louis just shook his head, unwilling to accept the words because he _was_. “No, look at me,” He pushed Louis back so he could look into his red eyes. “ _He_ is the stupid one. I actually can't wrap my head around how stupid he is. How could he just give _you_ up?”

Louis laughed; a choked, wet sound and wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand before taking off his glasses. He was glad his mum's makeup was waterproof. “Oh right, like I'm some big catch.”

“You _are_ ,” Sterling said, giving Louis that smile he was becoming more fond of by the minute. “You obviously don't see yourself very clearly, Louis. If you were mine it would take an entire army to drag me away!”

Laughing again, Louis looked down. He knew Sterling wasn't joking even though that was how he tried to play it, not wanting to pressure Louis. He was thankful. Maybe someday he would say yes to Sterling, someday when he wasn't a mess. He wouldn't inflict his _issues_ on anyone. Clearing his throat, Louis scooted back until he was leaning against the wall. “Sorry for that.” Louis waved his hand. “I don't usually lose it.”

“I know,” Sterling smiled, “It just makes me want to knock the bastard on his arse even more.”

Clearing his throat, Louis fidgeted with the sleeve of his purple jumper. “Not advisable,” he mumbled. Louis knew Harry had been taking boxing lessons for two years; he had also witnessed him putting those skills to use last summer. If Harry's family weren't one of the richest in England he would've been in Juvie a long time ago, that Louis knew for certain.

Sterling snorted, “I can take care of myself just fine, Lou.” His tone and confidence made Louis glad Harry was no longer interested in him, otherwise things would have turned violent, and fast. But Harry had made it very clear how he felt.

Looking for a change of subject, Louis reached for the fallen textbook.

-:-

Louis was catatonic.

He hadn't moved or spoken since those two words had left his Doctor's mouth and he hadn't heard the rest of what the woman had said either. He was pretty sure he was in shock; surely his organs would shut down soon and he'd just slump to the floor in a heap of dead seventeen year old idiot.

He was pregnant.

He, Louis Tomlinson, was pregnant.

Louis had finally given in on Saturday and made the appointment hoping to get something for his insomnia. And now here he sat, missing the first half of the school day so his Doctor could tell him he was carrying Harry fucking Styles' baby. Harry. Oh God! What was he going to tell Harry when he started showing?! His last thought sent his mind skidding to a halt. Huh. It looked like he'd already decided to keep the baby without much consideration. Okay yes, that was taken care of. Lovely. Now he just had to plan the rest of the school year around his pregnancy. Great. And he also had to plan the rest of his life around this baby. Excellent. And he had to tell his mum, okie-dokie. And he had to tell Harry; fuck that.

When Louis next became aware of his surroundings, he was on a table with cold jelly being squirted all over his stomach; ew. “Oh! You're twelve weeks!”

Louis smiled though he was pretty sure it looked like a nauseated grimace. Christ, he had to get his shit together. “I uh... would have come sooner but um... well obviously this-” He waved a hand at his still flat belly, “never crossed my mind.” Male pregnancy was extremely rare; no one in their town had ever gone through it so... that would be fun. “Is... is he or she healthy?”

Doctor Sivan smiled. “There's no need to worry, everything looks to be right on track.”

Sighing in relief, Louis relaxed for the rest of the appointment, all the while thinking of what the hell to tell his mum. Would she be disappointed? Would she hate him? Even though he was happy, though somewhat stunned, he still felt guilty for putting this kind of stress on her. As he started his car, Louis considered just going home but he didn't want to be alone just yet so he decided school was his best bet.

As Louis made his way through the front doors of the school a strange enlightenment settled over him. He was pregnant and he was the only one besides his Doctor who knew at the moment. It felt strange to be going about his day with this knowledge in the forefront of his mind, with this child growing inside him, while everyone who spoke to or looked at him had no clue they were speaking to a pregnant person. It was an odd feeling but he found he liked it. He had a secret and it was all his. Okay maybe he'd gone insane.

When Louis rounded the corner he nearly turned around again; there, three lockers down from his, stood Harry, clearly chatting up Cara who was eating up the attention and flirting back with those fucking eyebrows of hers. Louis wanted to puke. The thought made him snort. And then all at once it hit him like a ton of bricks that he was looking at the father of his child. He had two options: act as if Harry didn't exist and go to his locker, or run.

Before he could make up his mind however... “Lou!”

Louis squawked as he was lifted over Sterling's shoulder. Without thinking he adjusted his position until his weight was on his hip; instinct he supposed. He rolled his eyes as his friend carted him to his locker and dropped him back on his feet.

Louis slapped Sterling on the shoulder and turned to his locker but a prickle over his skin had him turning his head. His heart leaped into his throat as his gaze caught Harry's dark one. Harry was tensed, brows lowered dangerously, fists balled at his sides as though he were holding himself back. It made Louis think of the time some creep had slapped him on the arse while they were out for ice cream and Harry had simply turned and punched the kid square in the face without breaking stride. Sterling's voice drew his attention away a moment later.

“Where were you this morning?” When Louis looked back to his friend he noted the way Sterling's eyes flicked from him to Harry, lips pursed in annoyance.

“Uh...” Louis shook his head. “I haven't been sleeping so, I made an appointment.”

“You're sure you're-”

“I'm fine!” Louis huffed, slamming his locker closed and immediately feeling guilty at the hurt puppy look on Sterling's face. “See? Sleep deprivation. Seriously, I'm okay. I'll see you in class.”

Sterling stared at him for a moment longer before nodding, “Yeah, see you.” Louis watched him walk away and exhaled long and slow, trying to compose himself. With a sigh he finished spinning the combo on his locker and turned to head to class. A sharp gasp left him as he ran directly into another body. Louis quickly stumbled back, eyes wide with shock as he met Harry's gaze for the second time in five minutes. Someone hated him.

Harry's brow was furrowed as he looked Louis up and down with what looked like concern. But Louis knew better. “You're ill?”

Louis blinked; Harry heard them? He shook his head. “No.”

“You're lying.” Harry took a step closer, eyes intent as he examined Louis' face. “You look unwell.”

Backing up again, Louis held his books in front of himself like a shield, though he knew no wall or shield could keep Harry out of his heart despite how much he might wish it. Or wish he wished it. “Why are you pretending to care?” He asked quietly, stepping around the taller boy and continuing down the hall.

A hand came down on his shoulder just as he was about to round the corner. Louis froze as Harry stepped up behind him, breath tickling his cheek as he spoke directly into ear. “I never stopped caring.”

Then the heat at his back was gone and Louis stood stunned as he watched Harry walk away.

What just happened?

-:-

In class Louis found his hands slipping to his belly every few minutes. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that there was a baby inside him. And the more he thought about it the stranger it seemed, like repeating a word over and over until it no longer sounded like a word. Sterling seemed to notice he wasn't quite himself and Louis felt his eyes on the side of his face time and again. Louis himself had a hard time keeping his eyes off of someone. Harry was two rows ahead to the right and Louis found his eyes sliding to the boy more times than he'd care to count. What the hell had happened in the hallway? Louis was fuming over Harry's words; if he'd never stopped caring then why had he dumped Louis? Left him alone and pregnant – oh God. Louis let his head fall forward onto his desk with a quiet thump.

“Are you alright Mr Tomlinson?” Miss Adele's voice had him squeezing his eyes shut as a wave of nausea ate at him. Perhaps he hadn't been as quiet as he thought. When he didn't respond he felt her hand on his shoulder. “Louis?”

He knew she would send him to the nurse but he felt utterly wrecked and tired. He hoped he caught up on his sleep before the baby was born – _OH GOD!_ He made a choking sound and a second later he heard, “I think I should take him to the nurse's office. ”

That wasn't Sterling.

He heard a chair squeak against the floor and then suddenly there was a presence next to Louis' desk and he felt Sterling tense on his other side. Swallowing convulsively, Louis shot out of his chair, hand clasped over his mouth as he bolted from the room. It was a blessing the bathrooms were just a little ways down the hall from Miss Adele's classroom. Louis barely made it into the stall and got his glasses off before he was emptying his stomach into the toilet, his body vibrating with the force of it.

Louis kept still for a moment after the last wave to make sure he wasn't going to go off again before reaching up to flush the toilet. Slowly straightening up, Louis brought his hand up to his lips and headed for the sink, startling when he saw Harry leaning against the wall.

“You need to stop doing that.” Louis rasped, turning on the faucet and splashing his face and rinsing out his mouth. After swallowing a few sips of water, Louis turned to Harry. “Why are you still here?”

“I'm supposed to take you to the nurse. ”

“M'fine,” Louis muttered and closed his eyes, a sudden wave of exhaustion gripping him tight.

“I don't think you are.”

“What do _you_ know?”

“I know that my eyes aren't lying when they tell me you're _not_ fine. ”

Exhaling slowly, Louis kept his eyes closed as he spoke. “Look, I haven't been sleeping well...I get bouts of insomnia, that's all. I'm fine. So you can stop with the fake concern and go back to pretending I don't exist, alright?” With that he opened his eyes and pushed away from the sink, going for the door. Harry moved at the same time to block his exit. Louis clenched his jaw.

“You're going to see the nurse if I have to drag you.”

Louis let out a small laugh, “You never did learn how to say please.”

Harry smirked. “Hm no, you were always the one begging if I remember correctly.”

Ice spread through Louis' veins as his face tinged pink. It hurt to even think about it, oh how stupid he'd been.

“You don't need to remind me of how stupid was. I remind _myself_ every day.” He spat, shoving Harry out of the way and yanking to door open. He made it three steps down the hallway before he was swept off the floor, Harry carrying him bridal style towards the nurse's station. Why did he keep getting pick up and carted off? Did he have 'damsel' written on his forehead? It was his height, wasn't it?

“Put me down!” Louis snapped, kicking and squirming in Harry's relentless grip. Harry responded by tightening his hold.

Louis huffed. Harry wasn't what anyone would call verbose, he knew this. And he hadn't minded when they'd been... but now it was just irritating. Crossing his arms, Louis finally stopped struggling and allowed himself to be taken to the nurse. The quicker he got this over with the quicker he got away from Harry. It took about ten seconds for Louis to realize he was inhaling Harry's scent. The scent of clean laundry and oranges and freshly baked cookies... with a scowl he looked into the other boy's face, angry at himself and even more angry at the source of his problems. All of them. Harry was still just as beautiful as he remembered; pale skin that was as creamy and smooth as fresh butter; lips red and plump like the freshest ripest fruit and just as sweet; eyes greener than the rarest emerald. Bastard. If Louis shaved Harry's head, would it stop the awful need he felt to run his fingers through those silken curls?

Jesus Christ he sounded like a heroine in some trashy romance novel. He was losing it.

The door swung open as Harry shouldered his way through and the nurse, a harassed and tired looking woman with caramel hair and kind eyes, was at his side in seconds. “Lay him on the table. ”

“I'm fine!” Louis hissed at the same time Harry said, “He was violently sick in the bathroom.”

Louis glared up at Harry from his perch on the table, the wax paper crinkling under him as he fidgeted. “I'll get you a cold pack for your forehead,” The nurse, Mrs Demitri according to her name tag said as she quickly moved out of the small room. Louis thought about bolting for a moment, but one look at Harry: arms crossed and staring at him with narrowed eyes as though reading his thoughts put that idea to rest.

“I'm fine. ” He muttered again, aware that he was pouting but dammit, he didn't want to be here.

“Here you are dear,” Mrs Demitri appeared again and handed him the pack. “Stay here a few minutes until you feel more stable. Do you need me to go h-”

“No! I – I just haven't been sleeping, it's a chronic problem and I didn't eat this morning, that's all. ”

Both the nurse and Harry regarded him with suspicion, but she nodded and left to attend to more pressing matters. Harry on the other hand, kept staring at him. “You're lying. ”

Grinding his molars, Louis squeezed the pack until his hands ached from the cold and glared back. “I'm not!” He wasn't; he just wasn't mentioning the whole morning (which really meant all damned day) sickness thing.

“You did not have sleeping problems when we-”

Louis barked out a humourless laugh. “Didn't I?”

Something flickered over Harry's face then; guilt mixed with regret and Louis had to look away. He would not be subjected to pity. Harry's eyes hardened then, anger spilling over into his features. “ _I'm not responsible for you._ ”

Louis wanted so badly to laugh at that and then inform Harry just how _responsible_ he was. He wouldn't though, he had no intentions of burdening Harry with such _responsibilities_. Louis and his baby would get along just fine without him.

“Never said you were,” Louis said tiredly. He slid off the table, leaving the cold pack behind. “I've realized that you saved me a lot of bullshit, so, thank you. But I don't need you and I never will. ”

With that, Louis pushed past without a backwards glance. There was a lump in his throat and his heart throbbed, but a tiny smile still lifted his lips as he walked.

He could do this. He would be _fine_.

-:-

“Mum?”

Jay looked up from the pasta she was stirring and Louis could smell the sauce, meaty and mouthwatering. His belly growled and he wanted to smile; eating for two. Then he remembered what he was about to do and the hunger he felt twisted into a knot in the pit of his stomach. “Can I talk to you?”

Placing the spoon on top of the stove, Jay nodded. “Of course little bear, is everything alright?” Her face creased in concern but her eyes were kind and it gave Louis a bit of confidence as he sat in the chair opposite her. Nervously, he picked at his fingernails, avoiding eye contact as he gathered his courage.

“Mum, I-”

“Are you failing?” Her voice was hard, worried. Louis wanted to laugh, if only it were so simple.

“No.” He folded and unfolded his hands before bringing them to his lap, pressing gently on his belly. “Do you remember, during the summer when we were at the beach house?”

Jay's brows were furrowed now. “Yes...”

“Um,” He licked his lips and stared at the table as though it could help him somehow. “I never told you, but I met someone. ”

“That's wonderful, Boo. Is it long distance? Or does he go to your school-”

“Mum!” Louis breathed, ready to burst into tears any second. “It was...we were serious. Or, I thought we were. But, things didn't turn out the way I thought they would. ”

“First love is hard, maybe-”

“I'm going to a have a baby, mum. ” Louis whispered.

Dead silence fell over the kitchen and he could feel her stare, her shock. “I guess I'm one of _those_ men. ”

“Louis, what-”

“I saw the Doctor this morning.” Louis sighed. “I'll understand if you're angry, or if you decide to throw me out-” His words were cut off by Jay's arms around him tight and he let out a sigh of relief.

“The father?” She asked quietly, and suddenly the floodgates opened wide. He sobbed into his mother's chest, twisting his hands in her shirt as she held him close. “That little bastard.” She hissed but it just made Louis cry harder.

“You'll be okay, Louis. We'll be okay.” Jay soothed, petting his hair and rubbing his back. “Everything will be okay. ”

-:-

“What!”

“Shhhhh!” Louis hissed, flying forward to cover Sterling's mouth with his hand. “Let the whole school know why don't you! You should have come to my house when I asked last night. ”

Sterling pried his hand off. “I was helping mum paint!”

“Oh please. Like you couldn't have hired someone. ”

Sterling gripped his arms then and looked him in the eyes. “You're not yanking my chain, are you?” Louis felt his stomach squeeze when he realized Sterling was hoping he would say yes.

“He's the father, isn't he. ”

It wasn't a question. Louis examined his shoes. “Yeah.”

Sterling snarled, " _Son of a bitch!_ ” Panic gripped Louis' core as Sterling charged away from him with clenched fists, posture ready for a fight. Oh no. Louis chased his friend, gripping his arm tight and planting his feet on the floor in an attempt to slow him but all that resulted in was being dragged.

“Sterling! Please! No. ” Louis gasped, his strength quickly waning as he began to feel nauseated. His heart pounded wildly as they rounded a corner and Harry came into view where he leaned against his locker talking to some friends. _Oh please please please,_  Louis thought. Sterling shrugged him off and Louis stumbled. “Styles!”

Louis watched in horror as Harry turned, his face blackening like a thundercloud as his eyes landed on Sterling. The dark haired boy pushed away from the lockers, still looking somewhat casual but Louis knew that look, knew what it meant when Harry held himself that way. “Can I help you?” Harry's voice was slow and calm as always, but his eyes said something else entirely.

Sterling was in his face in a flash, shoving him against the lockers. “You helped enough, you piece of shit!”

Louis' chest was getting tighter by the second and his vision pulsed around the edges. “Sterling,”

Sterling stumbled back as Harry nailed him with an uppercut to the jaw. Shit _shit!_ Despite his rising panic, Louis couldn't stand by and let his friend be humiliated...more than he already had been. Getting a grip on his emotions, Louis pushed away from the wall and shoved his way through the group that had gathered to watch. “Stop it!”

Louis felt Harry's eyes on him but chose to ignore it as he stood next to his friend, gripping his elbow and forcing him to stand straight. “Get up!” When Sterling was righted again Louis shoved him hard. “What were you thinking!?”

Sterling glared at Harry over Louis' shoulder, “I was thinking that _he_ needs to get his face smashed in!”

“Keep your boyfriend on a leash,” Harry growled, eyes murderous. “before somebody puts him down.”

Louis ignored Harry's presence completely and snatched Sterling's wrist, dragging him down the hallway. When he was sure no one was around he shoved his friend again. “How could you! I don't!” He lowered his voice until it was barely a whisper. “I don't want him to know!”

That made Sterling stop, his eyebrows slowly climbing into his hairline. “He doesn't know?” He asked slowly, confused.

“No! And he never will as far as I'm concerned.” Louis hissed in a rush. “I can do this by myself. I have mum and-”

“And you have me.” Sterling vowed. Louis smiled gratefully. “You say you don't want him to know, but Lou, I'm pretty sure he's going to _notice_  sooner or later. ”

Louis frowned. “I haven't...exactly...thought about that yet.” He supposed he could always move to Surrey with his Gran and cousin Annie and homeschool for the rest of the year. He hated the thought, but if it saved him trouble with Harry, he would do it. He voiced his thought to Sterling.

Sterling's mouth lifted on one side. “Or...”

“Or?” Louis prompted.

“Or we could tell people it's mine. ”

All the air seemed to be sucked from Louis' lungs at the words. It was an unbelievably kind offer and Louis could cry right now at what his friend was willing to do for him. But it also felt _wrong_. This baby was Harry's...how could he – God, his heart ached as he thought of everything he would never have. Harry would never want to be involved, would never want that _responsibility_. Even if Louis did tell him, it wouldn't change anything. By keeping it from him it was saving Louis another heartbreak he didn't need; couldn't handle right now and it would spare Harry just _knowing_. Did Louis wish Harry hadn't dumped him? Wish they'd found out together and known they would be alright as long as they had each other? Wish Harry would be there to make midnight craving runs and sing to his growing belly when the baby was restless? Wish he'd be there when he or she was born? Yes. Yes to all of it.

But Louis learned a long time ago that things don't always go the way you wanted them to; that you have to do the best you can with what you have. Louis made a decision in that moment. “Are you sure? Sterling, it's an enormous weight, I couldn't ask this of you-”

His words were cut off as his best friend pulled him close and wrapped him in a tight hug. “I've never been so sure of anything.” Sterling whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Louis' head.

“You don't know how much this means to me,” Louis sniffled, waves of emotion breaking over him again. He really hoped he wouldn't spend his entire pregnancy a blubbering mess. Sterling's arms tightened and Louis' heart broke all over again.

These weren't the arms he wanted around him.

-:-

“Are ya comin' to Ed's Halloween party?” Niall asked around a mouthful of ham sandwich, spraying food everywhere as he spoke.

Louis tugged at his oversized jumper - _really_ oversized. He had maybe three or four weeks before even they wouldn't hide him any longer. His belly had rounded over the last few weeks in a way that was almost shocking to him, but then, he'd found out he was pregnant just before he hit the three month mark so, it was bound to happen. Still; as noticeable as it was to _Louis_ he could still wear clothes that clung and it wouldn't be _too_ obvious as he only looked like he put on a few pounds. That wouldn't last much longer. So huge jumpers it was.

Only the people closest to him knew what his little pudge actually meant. Louis spent hours in front of the mirror these days examining his growing bump, utterly fascinated. He'd also taken to singing to the baby; _The Beatles Ob-la-di Ob-la-da_ was his favourite and he found himself singing or humming it several times a day. It was a bit silly but Louis just couldn't help himself. Jay on the other hand, had taken up the hobby of cooking; reading up on everything that was healthy for pregnancy and making it for Louis to eat. He wasn't too fond of the veggies with every meal but he didn't mind the fruit he got with his breakfasts. He was craving bananas of all things. Or, on a broader spectrum, anything that tasted of bananas. If he ate any more, he might turn yellow. “And what do you suggest I go as?” Louis waved a hand at his stomach.

“Bah! It's not even noticable, mate! You're just lookin for an excuse to avoid-”

“Come Christmas I'll be bigger than Santa's sleigh.” Louis interrupted, crossing his arms. He supposed he could ask Sterling to coordinate with him. . . Sterling would do absolutely anything he asked and it was making Louis increasingly uncomfortable. The problem was, he knew, he _knew_ Sterling was in love with him. And it was beyond selfish to let him hope when Louis could never feel _that way_ for him, yet he couldn't tell him. The thought of being left alone once more frightened him too much to do that. It was selfish in the extreme sense of the word. But he needed Sterling, needed his friendship and support to get through. And he hated himself more than anyone could possibly imagine. Fortunately he had more important things to worry about now. “I'll think about it. ”

-:-

“Wow.” Louis looked Sterling up and down, taking in the hair extensions and red cape. “ _Hello_ God of Thunder.”

Sterling smirked and lifted his hammer. . .Mjolnir, was it? “Ready to go?”

Biting his lip, Louis itched self-consciously at his own costume and ignored the way his friend's eyes trailed his body. He was Peter Pan. And he felt completely ridiculous in the leafy get-up that resembled the 2003 movie more than the original. He had planned to wear the original costume but had scrapped the idea after he realized there was no way to hide his belly without ruining the effect. Jay had spilled his tale of woe to Gran and two weeks later she had shown up with a homemade Pan costume. He could hardly believe it when he tried it on, it hid everything perfectly, even if it was a bit flamboyant. Thank God his Gran had added a few leaves here and there so it wasn't as skimpy as it could have been. Still, he felt a bit weird in it. However, he doubted his would be the most attention grabbing costume at the party, not with The Queen Bitch Squad Cara and Taylor and Kendall there.

In the car, Louis burrowed into his coat, almost regretting his costume, but at least it was an indoor party and hopefully Ed would find something for him to do since he asked Sterling and himself to arrive an hour early.

At Ed's house, Louis endured a slew of catcalls from Niall and Zayn and Liam. He huffed and stamped his foot. “It's the glitter, isn't it?”

“Pixie dust,” Sterling reminded and Louis rolled his eyes, kicking off his shoes so he was barefoot. The whole 'barefoot and pregnant' thing wasn't lost on him either.

When Ed threw an arm around his shoulders and led him to the refreshment table Louis snatched a brownie, his eyes nearly rolling back as he tasted the chocolate on his tongue. Ed chuckled at him and handed him another. Thanks to Niall, he was also in on Louis' little secret and even set out non-alcoholic drinks especially for him.

After about thirty minutes the first of the guests began pouring in and Louis was still leaning against Sterling, munching on anything that even caught his eye. He was about to reach for a very appealing candy apple when Harry walked in. Louis felt a sudden flush of heat come over him as he took in the head-to-toe black costume: white face paint with black lipstick and eyeliner standing out against it. Harry was _The Crow_. And he looked utterly deliscious.

Louis recognized right away that his hormones were going crazy. If he wasn't careful he was going to end up jumping Harry, and he doubted Harry would appreciate that.

Louis felt Sterling's arm tighten around his waist and he glanced at his friend, who was glaring at Harry. Wanting to avoid the kind of trouble such a look would invite, Louis tugged Sterling over to where a few people were dancing. Louis was a terrible dancer, he knew, but he would try.

' _That's the Way I Like It_ ' by Dead or Alive came on the sound system and Louis rolled his eyes at the eighties music as he playfully swayed his hips, hoping to make his friend laugh. His stomach dropped when he realized he'd succeeded in getting Sterling's attention, only he wasn't laughing. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that. Sterling's hands were on his arms, tugging him forward as he leaned in. When Louis' brain finally processed he was about to be kissed, he struggled, trying to free himself. But after a few drinks, Sterling didn't seem to be registering his attempts. Louis wondered for a moment if he should just let it happen. Perhaps he should learn to love Sterling for his baby's sake.

As the thought passed through his mind, a streak of black entered his line of vision, coming from his left and hitting Sterling in the chest, pushing him back. Louis gasped as he was pushed behind a black-clad figure. Harry. Sterling looked enraged, ready to comeback with a hit of his own but Louis scrambled around Harry's body to stand in front of him. “No!”

Harry's pale hand wrapped around his wrist tightly.

Everyone within twenty feet were watching now, probably wondering why a little nerd like him had two gorgeous boys fighting over him for the second time in weeks. Honestly? Louis was wondering himself and trying very hard to ignore the heat at his back. “Don't _fight_. ” He ground out, pushing at Sterling's chest.

Sterling narrowed his eyes, looking hurt. “You're seriously going to take his side after-”

“I'm not taking sides!” Louis interrupted quickly before Sterling could drunkenly cause disaster. “I just don't want you to tear up Ed's house. ”

The blond boy took a step forward and Harry's hand tightened around Louis' wrist, ready to tug him out of the way at a split second's notice. “Please,” Louis sighed, eyes pleading his friend. “For me,”

Sterling sneered at them but backed off, turning away and disappearing into the crowd of gawking teenagers. Louis locked eyes with Cara then, Harry's current ' _squeeze_ '. Her eyebrows frightened him. Louis tried to go after his friend, only to be halted by Harry's shackle-like grip.

“We need to talk.” Was spoken gruffly into his left ear and Louis swallowed thickly. It was _not_ a good idea to be alone with Harry tonight.

“We really don't,” Louis replied, tugging against Harry's hold, however he doubted the taller boy heard over the The Cure song currently blaring over the speakers.

 _Be still be calm be quiet now my precious boy_  
_Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more_  
_For it's much too late to get away or turn on the light_  
_The spiderman is having you for dinner tonight_

Louis found himself being pulled through the mass of bodies; every eye on them in shock as Harry led him up the stairs. A foghorn of panic blared in his head. _**Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea!**_

When they reached the second floor, Harry tugged him past three doors before opening the third and pushing him inside, the music barely muffling as the door swung closed. Louis backed up, avoiding the bed by a mile and pacing towards the window. “What do you...” He huffed and crossed his arms. “What do you want?”

Harry moved closer. “Is he your boyfriend?”

Louis shivered at the dark look - the black kohl making Harry's green eyes stand out like malevolent jewels. Arousal was building in his core and Louis knew he needed to get out of there before one thing led to another and Harry saw him naked. Anger mixed with his other feelings though; where did Harry get off asking him that? The jerk had probably fucked forty people since dumping him. The thought had him grinding his teeth. “That's...” Louis looked away for a moment before meeting Harry's gaze dead-on. “That's none of your business, so,”

“Did you let him fuck you?” Harry growled, coming to stand mere inches from Louis.

Louis exhaled sharply and glared. He couldn't believe the nerve. Harry's hands were gripping his upper arms then, shaking him. “Answer. Me. ”

Shrugging free with a hiss, Louis shoved at Harry's chest and moved away to stand on the other side of the room; the bed between them acting as a barrier – he was too angry to appreciate the symbolic irony. “Fuck you.” Louis snapped viciously. “You're not _responsible_ for anything I do. ”

“If I want to be?” Harry asked quietly.

Louis shook his head, backing up until his back hit the wall. “You made it pretty clear to me what you want. You don't get to take it back now. ”

Eyes never leaving Louis' face, Harry tilted his head as he walked around the bed, his long fingers dancing across the duvet. “I want you. ”

“You!” Louis shouted, so angry the words got jumbled, “You, you piece of shit!” He stalked over to Harry and shoved him again. “You don't want me but no one else can have me, is that it?!” He shoved again but this time Harry caught his wrists and pulled him close. Louis shuddered against the heat running through him and cursed his hormones. _If it's only hormones why don't you react this way to Sterling?_ A voice whispered in his mind. He couldn't stop himself from moaning as Harry's soft lips covered his, his willpower draining from him like sand in an hourglass; slow and steady. He was going to be covered in face paint, lovely.

Harry's breath quickened along with his own and even though Louis knew how utterly stupid he was being, he couldn't force himself to stop Harry as those hands slid down his back to grip and knead his ass. Moaning into Harry's neck, Louis pushed into the touches; his body hot and achy all over - especially between his legs. In a last mad dash for sanity Louis shoved Harry away only to find himself bent over the bed, the bottom half of his costume around his ankles. _Yes_ _._ With the working part of his brain he silently thanked God for the position and for the fact that they were both too worked up to undress properly.

Minutes later Louis was seeing stars as Harry's cock worked its way in and out of his body at a frantic pace. He sobbed into the duvet and laughed at the same time as he recognized the song blaring downstairs,

 _When the truth is found_  
_To be lies_  
_And all the joy_

_Within you dies_

_Don't you want somebody to love?_

Louis squeezed his eyes shut as hot pleasure ripped through him; he didn't remember being this sensitive before.

“ _Oh God,_ ” Louis could barely hold himself up as Harry's thrusts rattled his bones. He reached back to clutch at Harry's hip but his hands were pinned behind his back in seconds, leaving his shoulders to take the brunt of his weight.

_Your eyes, I say your eyes_

_May look like his_  
_Yeah, but in your head, baby_  
_I'm afraid you don't know where it is_

 _Don't you want somebody to love?_  
_Don't you need somebody to love?_  
_Wouldn't you love somebody to love?_

_You better find somebody to love_

Louis sunk his teeth into his bottom lip to cut off the scream that wanted to tear from his throat as his body coiled tight and exploded in a firestorm of pleasure so intense he couldn't _breathe_. Suddenly Harry's hand was around his throat, pulling him up against his chest as he continued to fuck Louis through his orgasm, desperate sobs leaving the smaller boy as his prostate was abused. This time he couldn't hold back a scream when Harry's teeth latched onto his shoulder as he filled Louis with searing heat.

A laugh burst from Louis when he felt it; Harry wasn't wearing a condom, he never wore one with him. Louis had proof. He let out another hysterical laugh as Harry sagged against him, breathing heavy. “Did I fuck you stupid?”

Louis laughed again and crawled onto the bed, wincing slightly as Harry slid free. He fixed his costume and ignored the wetness now leaking from his body, hopping off the other side of the bed.

“I _must_ be stupid. ” Louis sighed, all traces of laughter gone now. He felt cheap. How could he not after allowing himself to be used in such a way? “You can go now.” He swallowed and turned towards the window, fighting against the tears.

All was quiet for a few tense moments before he felt arms wrap around him from behind and warm lips against his neck. Louis tried to pull away, but Harry held him close, hugging him from behind. “I'm not going anywhere,” Harry murmured.

Louis growled, struggling harder. “Liar!” He sniffed; he was sure he looked a fright: hair damp with sweat, face smeared with tears and paint. “Let me go, Harry. Let me save you the trouble of leaving again.”

“I love you. ” Harry declared. “I've always loved you, from the moment I set eyes on you."

Louis stopped struggling. “What?”

“I adore you, Lou. I've always been aware of you; you had to have noticed?”

“I noticed you ignoring me since we were 7. ” Louis replied sharply. “I noticed you dumping me after taking my virginity. I noticed-”

“I made a mistake,” Harry admitted quietly. “one I regretted the second you walked away from me, but Lou, I don't do proper relationships, it's always been just sex and I stupidly assumed it would be the same with you. I've always _wanted_ you...but back then I refused to admit to myself that it was more than that. I realize how stupid that was now... you're in my blood.”

Louis blinked in surprise – he'd never heard Harry speak so many words at once. “You didn't injure yourself did you?”

Confused, Harry's brow crinkled and he opened his mouth to speak but Louis just shook his head. “You could have come to me,” Louis whispered, “That night before I left, and explained. I would've forgiven you. It's been four months Harry; a lot's changed. ”

“It's him, isn't it?” Harry growled. Pressing his lips together, Louis looked away. Harry smirked. “You don't love him,” He stepped into Louis' space, lips brushing his cheek. “I saw the way you recoiled from his touch. ”

Louis pushed against Harry's stomach with the back of his hand. “I'm – I can't afford to get hurt again, Harry. ”

“But you _can_ afford to be with someone you don't love?”

“I love Sterling,” Louis confirmed, hoping his voice wouldn't give away his lie.

Harry's tongue traced the shell of his ear. “You could never lie worth a damn. ”

“I'm having a baby,” Louis looked up, Harry was staring at him, face blank, giving no indication whatsoever that he'd even heard the words. “ _That_ wasn't a lie. ”

Harry blinked and then nodded once before turning on his heel and heading for the door. Louis wanted to laugh – he hadn't expected much else – but he was too busy sliding to the floor in tears. Why the hell had he opened his mouth? What did he stand to gain other than the man he loved looking at him in disgust?

A loud crash downstairs had his head snapping up. Another crash had him up and out of the room. Louis stopped as he reached the top of the stairs; looking down on the scene. A table lie collapsed near the window; food and drinks spilled everywhere, people crowded and drunkenly cheering, and in the middle of it all were Harry and Sterling. Louis felt his heart drop to his feet as Harry sat on top of a fallen Sterling, landing blow after blow to his face and stomach.

When Louis reached the bottom of the stairs he shoved his way through the crowd, ignoring the weird looks – Harry's face paint he realized, Christ - “Stop!” Louis screamed, getting behind Harry and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “Harry! Stop!” Harry ignored him completely; Louis' weight on his back doing nothing to slow him down. Over Harry's shoulder, Louis could see Sterling's bloody face and it made him sick – it was his fault. “Stop!” Louis begged, tightening his hold though it did nothing to stop Harry's next swing. Terrified and desperate, he pressed his mouth to Harry's ear, voice low and shaky. “It's yours. _The baby is yours_. ”

Harry stilled and Sterling didn't react, barely conscious. Harry stood up so fast it knocked Louis off balance sending him arse-first to the carpet. He barely had time to register it before Harry was pulling him to his feet and slamming their mouths together. Louis clawed at Harry's costume and tried to escape his vise-like hold, very aware that nearly everyone was watching them in shock. Sterling! Elbowing Harry to the side, Louis crouched next to his unconscious friend, gently touching his bloodied face. He could feel Harry's glare on his back. He looked to Ed who had appeared on Sterling's other side. “I called the medics.”

Louis smiled gratefully, but it quickly faded as he was once again hauled up by the elbow. “We're leaving.” Harry growled in his ear, tugging him towards the door.

Wrenching himself free Louis backed away from Harry. “I'm not leaving him! It's my fault he needs to be put in the hospital in the first place-” Louis clutched at his stomach, breath coming in short strained pants as everything suddenly overwhelmed him at once. Arms encircled him once more and he felt lips press to his ear.

“No. It's mine. ” Harry mumbled. “You did nothing wrong. ” When Harry began pulling him away again he struggled until the taller boy spoke again, “I'll drive you. ”

Louis met Harry's gaze through tear-damp lashes, trying to gauge whether he would keep his word. When he saw nothing but sincerity, he nodded, squeezing Harry's hand before going to sit by Sterling as they awaited the medics. He almost suggested they take him themselves but realized it wasn't smart to move him.

Minutes later as he watched his friend being loaded into the back of the ambulance, his mind raced; Harry had done this. How could someone so. . . out of control raise a child? As these thoughts swirled through his mind Louis barely registered Harry leading him to his car. As they followed the ambulance, Louis' hands fidgeted in his lap. “Why are you...” Louis trailed off and looked out the window.

“Because I'm responsible for this.” Harry said as they turned a corner. “And I'm never letting you out of my sight again. ”

Louis let out a small, wet sounding laugh and wiped his face, rolling his eyes when his hand came away white. “Oh for God's sake,” He muttered crossly, attempting to wipe more off.

Harry cleared his throat, sounding like he was holding in a laugh. “It only comes off with soap and water. ”

Sighing, Louis let his hands flop into his lap. “Of course.” He muttered. “Walk into the A&E looking like a fifth-floor escapee.” Harry did laugh then but quickly controlled himself when Louis sent him a death-glare.

“I missed you. ”

Louis bit his lip and shook his head, his brow furring as he spoke. “Yeah, yeah I'm sure Cara and Taylor and Nadine and Kendall would all be happy to tell me how much you missed me. ”

“I didn't sleep with them-” Louis scoffed at that but Harry ignored him and continued speaking. “They were distractions. I didn't associate with them outside of school. How could I when you were all I could think about?”

“Well you should've thought of that before you dumped me!'' Louis growled.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Harry's hands tighten on the wheel. “I know you're angry and I don't blame you; I got scared and I handled it badly. I wouldn't blame you if you never forgave me... but please don't keep me away from my child. ”

“What do you think of me?!” Louis huffed.

“So you were planning on telling me? I know you blurting it tonight wasn't planned Lou.” Harry side-eyed him. “I'd say you'd have even gone as far as to lie and say it was Stirfry’s. ”

“Sterling. ” Louis rolled his eyes. “And you can you blame me? You wanted nothing to do with me! What was I supposed to think!?”

“That I deserved to know - that's what you were supposed to think. ”

“Well you know now so get off my bloody back. ”

Harry huffed out a laugh. “We already sound like an old married couple. Good practice. ”

The corner of Louis' mouth lifted and he was about to speak, then he froze. “P-practice?”

“Yes.” Was Harry's answer but before Louis could question him further the car came to stop. When they made it inside, a nurse directed them to the waiting room and Louis wandered off in search of a bathroom, but not before spending five minutes convincing Harry to stay with Ed, Niall, Zayn and Liam.

Three feet from the bathroom door Louis caught sight of a familiar ponytail the exact same shade as his own hair. Shit! His mother was on nights this week – fuckfuckfuck – he quickly ducked into the bathroom before she could see him. God! After taking a moment or two to pull himself together he ripped a wad of napkins from the dispenser and turned on the faucet, wetting them with warm water before adding a few pumps of the sterile smelling hospital soap and washing the paint off his face. After washing his hands he knew he couldn't stall any longer or Harry would come looking for him and catch the attention of his mum for sure. Slowly he opened the heavyset door and peered out, eyes scanning the halls up and down. Once he deemed it safe he darted out, moving quickly as he could without tripping.

“Louis?”

Motherf-

“Mum!” He plastered on a smile and spun around.

Jay regarded him with narrowed eyes laced with suspicion. She knew that smile. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh... Sterling had a little accident at the party. I came with Ed and a few others. ”

Moving forward Jay began walking down the hall, leaving Louis to follow. “Well has he been seen by a doc-”

“He came in an ambulance.” Louis rushed out and Jay paused to look over her shoulder at him. Knowing she wouldn't get a straight answer from Louis she headed for the waiting room.

Shit! Louis trailed behind her and prayed to whatever God was listening that Harry had left or gone in search of coffee and snacks. Now was not the time for his mum and Harry to meet. Especially not after he'd put Sterling in the hospital. Jesus Christ. As they rounded the corner Louis noticed there was a new face among their group and one missing; one Louis recognized as a friend of his mother's that he saw sometimes. And where was Harry?

Before anyone could say a word, the dark haired woman looked up. “Jay?” Her voice was soothing.

“Anne?” Jay stopped in front of their group. “What are you doing here?”

“My son called me.” Anne explained, but her words became nothing but white noise as Louis looked at her, _really_ looked at her. Oh for Christ's sake! Anne was Harry's mother! How the – what the! - HOW the HELL had he not put that together during the times he'd met her? Different last names. Damnit.

“Louis!” Harry's voice came from behind him, making Louis jump and both of their mothers turn. “Hi mum.” Harry lifted a hand to wave before grabbing Louis' wrist and tugging him into the corner – belatedly he noticed Harry had washed his face as well. Louis tried hard to ignore the baffled looks their mothers were giving one another.

“I went looking for you.” Harry muttered, and Louis sighed. The stress of the night was catching up with him. He leaned forward, letting his head drop onto Harry's shoulder, feeling the other boy's arms wrap around him a second later.

“My mum's head nurse, was hiding out but she found me anyway.” Louis mumbled into Harry's leather jacket. He felt Harry nod as he'd rested his chin on Louis' head. Two throats cleared a few feet away.

Damn.

Louis huffed and pulled back a little, glad when Harry kept his arms around him. He turned to face his mother and Anne. “You two know each other. ” Jay stated flatly and their was a suspicion in her eyes that made him squirm.

“Um, mum? We go to school together. ”

Jay raised an eyebrow, not buying it for a second. “We're friends.” Louis tried again

“Mmmhmmm,” Jay crossed her arms. “And you became friends this past summer I'd wager.” She looked pointedly at Louis' belly though it was hidden beneath his coat. Harry stiffened.

“What am I missing?” Anne asked, crossing her arms and giving Harry the same look Louis was getting from Jay.

Surprisingly, it was Harry to speak first. “Louis and I are together.” He cleared his throat. “And we're having a baby. ”

Without a word, Anne's eyes flitted from her son's face to Louis' before she turned to Jay. “Did you know about this?”

“I knew Louis was pregnant, yes. I also knew the father had left him.” She glared at Harry. The disappointment in Anne's eyes was staggering then, but before she could say anything Louis spoke up.

“Harry didn't know,” he rushed to explain. “I – I actually didn't tell him until tonight at Ed's party. ” Harry kissed his forehead then and squeezed him tight.

“And now that I know...” Louis blinked as Harry's hands grasped his upper arms, pushing him back a bit. His heart leapt into his throat as Harry slid to his knees. Both Jay and Anne gasped loudly. “I know I've been an asshole-” Louis snorted. “And I know I have no right to ask this...shit.” Harry swallowed audibly and met Louis' eyes. “I know I behaved horribly but I was terrified Lou, you...you scare me to death, but I've come to realize it's a good thing, Jesus I'm making a mess here.” Harry laughed and smiled up at him. “You're the only one for me Louis Tomlinson, I know it in the depths of my soul...even as young as we are. I love you and our child with all that I am. Will you marry me – even though I don't have a ring?”

Ignoring the eyes he felt on him, Louis tugged his hands from Harry's grip and watched as his face fell. “You hurt me. ” He whispered. “Losing you nearly killed me, Harry.” Harry squeezed his eyes closed and nodded, and Louis could see the tears making his lashes glisten. “But h-” Louis swallowed, feeling his own tears rise to the surface. “But how can I give you up when I know with everything that _I_ am...that _you're_ the only one for  _me_?” Harry's reddened eyes snapped to his. “I never stopped loving you and I never will.” Louis dropped to his knees and pressed their foreheads together. “Yes.” He whispered.

Louis gasped as Harry's hand slid into his hair to tug him forward and crushed their lips together. The sound of another throat clearing had Louis hiding his face in Harry's neck.

“Harry,” Anne asked. “What happened to your hand?”

“I hurt it. On Sterling's face. ” Louis had expected Harry to lie; guess not.

“What?!” Anne and Jay gasped at the same time.

Louis sighed. “To be fair, he thought he was defending my honour.”

Before anyone could speak, Ella McTavish arrived in hysterics, and Sterling's doctor not long after.

Louis sighed in relief as they learned Sterling had only sustained minor injuries and was merely knocked out when he'd arrived but that he was being kept overnight as a precaution. Louis made a mental note to have a talk with Harry later about controlling his temper, though he knew Sterling's predicament was actually his fault; he should have specified that Harry was the father before he'd allowed him to leave that bedroom.

When Ella asked to see Sterling, Louis quietly asked if he could join her, turning to give Harry a quick kiss before he followed her and the doctor down the hallway.

Inside Sterling's room, Louis hovered near the end of the bed as Ella fussed over her son, and felt instantly guilty when Sterling's eyes landed on him with worry.

“Mum? Could you give me and Lou a few minutes?”

Ella hesitated a moment before nodding and exiting the room quietly. “Are you okay?” Sterling asked, eyes (one blackened and swollen) roaming over him with concern. “He didn't hurt you did he?”

Biting the insides of his cheeks, Louis made his way around the bed to stand next to Sterling, taking his hand. “I'm fine! You're the one in here.” Louis smiled but kept his eyes downcast. “Harry thought...he thought you got me pregnant. ”

Sterling stared at him in silence for a moment. “You told him.”

Louis nodded. “I just forgot to mention he was the father. I'm so sorry Sterling. ”

Squeezing his hand, Sterling shook his head, wincing when he realized it wasn't the best idea. “S'not your fault Lou. That bloke's psycho.” Louis cringed at that and Sterling took notice. “What? Oh no. Lou...” Sterling squeezed his hand even tighter. “Please, please don't tell me-”

“He...he asked me to marry him. ” Louis said in a rush. 

The look of pain mixed with disgust hit Louis like a fist to the gut. “He's only marrying you because of the baby! You have to know that! Lou, please tell me you're not stupid enough to believe he loves you!”

Anger flushed through Louis' system hot and fierce, but he bit his tongue before he could snap. “He wanted me before I told him about the baby.” Louis tugged his hand free. “He went after you because he was jealous; I'm not making excuses, just-”

“Really? Because it sure sounds that way!” Sterling growled. “He's fucking unstable, Lou! How long before he does the same to you-”

“I won't listen to this!” Louis hissed, halfway to the door before Sterling could finish. Why was Sterling making him choose? Why was he doing this? Exhaling slowing he turned to face his friend again.

“Harry has never hurt me...physically at least. He's - I need to do this. For our child. For myself.” Swallowing thickly, Louis made his way back to the foot of the bed. “Sterling, I love you. You're my best friend and you...you helped me so much - I can never repay you for that. But please...Sterling, I beg of you not to make me choose. Because I love Harry. I never stopped loving him. ”

Sterling turned his head and stared at the wall. “You're pathetic.” He snapped. “All these months you wouldn't even give me a fucking chance because you were too busy waiting for HIM to take you back. I should've known.”

Backing up, Louis shook his head. “That – that's not true. I was hurting! I wasn't ready-”

“But now that he's back to sweep you off your feet, you're suddenly ready, right? I never took you for a doormat. ”

Louis choked back a sob and spun on his heel, leaving the room as fast as he was able, the door swinging closed behind him. He made it four or five more steps before his knees gave out and he landed on the floor as sobs wracked him, Sterling's word cutting through him like razorblades. Vaguely, he was aware of footsteps coming towards him and then arms wrapping around him, but that only made him cry harder. Louis wasn't sure if it was the words, the hormones, or the fact that he'd just lost his best friend or a combination of all three but he felt utterly ripped apart.

“What happened?” Harry spoke lowly into his ear and Louis was aware of him waving off concerned nurses. “Louis, what happened?”

“He-” Louis choked and sobbed, “He said I was pathetic for believing you love me.” He cried harder then but realized his mistake the second the words left his mouth.

“I stopped too soon.” Harry growled. “I'll fucking kill him!”

Louis quickly wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, holding him tight. “I just lost the best friend I ever had!” He cried, “He hates me!”

Harry pulled him closer, working his hand in soothing circles across Louis' back. “If he could say something like that to you, he doesn't deserve your friendship or your tears.”

“I cried for _you_ when you didn't deserve it!” Louis snapped, attempting to push away but Harry's hold tightened.

“I know,” Harry soothed. “I know. I'm sorry. But I could walk in there right now and kill him for hurting you like this. ”

The words sent Louis into another round of sobs. What must Harry think of him? Crying over another boy this way? Louis knew it had to be hurting him but Harry didn't understand. It wasn't just Sterling. It was everything. After everything, how could Sterling be so _hateful_ to him? He must have said the last part out loud because Harry's breath tickled his ear as he responded: “Because he's in love with you. ”

“I know,” Louis whispered. “I know he is. And for a while...I thought, maybe...” Harry went rigid in his arms. “I thought maybe I could learn to love him as more than as friend one day. But I could never picture myself with anyone but you.” Louis' breath hitched then. “Maybe he was right, maybe I was waiting for you to come back. Maybe _I am_ that pathetic. ”

Harry was out of his arms in a heartbeat and standing the next. “That piece of shit!” He snarled. Louis scrambled to his feet then, using Harry's arm as a crutch.

“Harry! Harry please don't.” Louis begged, leaning his full weight on the taller boy's side. “It doesn't matter now. I love _you_. ”

Harry pressed his lips to the smaller boy's forehead. “I love you too, my little Louis.”

Giving a watery but sincere smile, Louis took Harry's hand and guided it to his slightly rounded belly beneath the coat, “Won't be little for much longer.”

Louis gasped as he found himself pressed against the wall, Harry's lips on his own and devouring him with a hunger he hadn't felt since that summer. “The first time we kissed,” Harry breathed against his lips, “Your lips tasted of strawberry ice cream; now they taste of tears.” Harry kissed him softly again. “I never wanted to taste your sorrow. I'm so sorry.”

“If we're going to be married...” Louis bit his lip at the word, “Then it's pretty much a given that we're going to taste every emotion on the spectrum; and I'm okay with that as long as I'm with you.” Louis narrowed his eyes and pulled away to meet Harry's gaze. “Unless you cheat on me because then you'll taste the firecrackers I shove down your throat-”

Harry laughed then and pressed their foreheads together. “You'll never have to worry; nobody could ever compare to you. You're the only one for me. I was celibate for four months, I _must_ love you.” Harry smirked but quickly narrowed his eyes. “You were too, right?”

“Of course I was, you idiot!” Louis huffed. “I wouldn't...with someone unless I was in love with them! You know that!” He poked Harry in the ribs.

“Oh I know.” Harry beamed. “It was how I knew you still loved me tonight...”

“Ugh!” Louis gave Harry a shove and began walking towards the Exit and the other boy trailed behind him laughing and twisting his keys between his fingers, ready to give his boy- no, is fiance, a ride home.

 -:-

 

“A Christmas Wedding.” Harry mumbled and Louis sighed as he curled up next to Harry on his bed; both boy's hair still damp from the shower they'd taken after arriving at Louis' house. Jay was working til five and Louis doubted she'd mind if Harry stayed over. After all, what sort of trouble could they possibly get into? Louis traced over Harry's clavicle, his finger slipping beneath the white t-shirt he'd loaned the taller boy.

Louis giggled. “Engaged on Halloween; married at Christmas. If this baby is born on Easter...I swear.”

Harry's lips lifted at the corners and he played with Louis' fingers as they traced his chest. “Do you know the sex yet?”

Shaking his head Louis looked up at Harry's face; eyes taking in everything from the mole on the left side of his face to the shape of his lips and nose. “Not yet. I'm...I sort of wanted to wait til the baby is born to find out...but then when you know it's so much easier to buy things. What do you think?”

Harry smiled then and Louis felt his bones go jello. “I'd like to know if it's a boy or girl. But whatever you want to do. Have you thought of names?”

“Uh...” Louis raised his brows. “Sort of. I was thinking... Cillian for a boy and Daisy for a girl. Just ideas. If you have any suggestions...” Louis purred as Harry's fingers trailed down his spine before resting on his hip and giggled when Harry's nose tickled his forehead.

“How I missed you.” Harry said with a voice barely above a whisper. “I missed your smell. And I missed your skin, missed your voice. I missed this, feeling your body pressed next to mine.” Louis blushed and hid his smile in Harry's shoulder but frowned when Harry's next words came. “Did you miss me, Lou?”

Pulling back enough to see Harry's face, Louis frowned harder at the note of insecurity in the other boy's voice. “You had to have seen how much.” Louis swallowed. “I tried to hide how miserable I was... but it felt like everyone around could see through me. That scared me because...because I didn't want you to see and think I was pathetic. Which I am. I know I am but-”

His words were cut off when Harry's lips pressed against his tenderly. “That day in the nurse's office, the day you got sick - Oi – was that because of...” He nodded at Louis' belly. Louis snorted and hummed in confirmation. Harry smiled and continued. “I felt so much guilt after the way I spoke to you and that made me angry. Who were you to make me feel anything? _You_. This tiny boy with your stubborn chin and warm eyes and glasses and big jumpers. _You_ should have faded into the background next to the likes of Cara or Taylor...or that's what I kept telling myself. And yet, it was never them I couldn't take my eyes off of – they've always paled in comparison. It took me a while to get over myself and I'm so sorry for that Lou. I hurt you for nothing. Just... if I ever do something that _fucking stupid_ again don't let me go, okay?”

Louis rolled on top of Harry and kissed him with everything he held back earlier because he'd been afraid while Harry's hands slid down his back and cupped his bottom through his plaid sleep pants.

“I promise.” Louis whispered. “I love you, Harry. I hope you know that. I don't want you to think I accepted only because I think it's right for the baby. I meant what I said, I never stopped loving you.” He leaned forward again and pushed Harry's curls back from his forehead, laying a kiss between his brows.

“I like the names by the way.” Harry sighed. “Especially Daisy. I can picture Daisy. My hair and your eyes; tiny like you and-”

“A troublemaker like you.” Louis interjected with a grin.

Harry pulled an offended face then and Louis had to smother a laugh. “Heeeey! I am not a troublemaker! It just...finds me.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “About Sterling...” As the humour on Harry's face was replaced by black hatred he almost regretted ruining their moment but...it needed to be addressed. “What if he presses charges?”

“He will.” Harry's voice was clipped. “He's jealous. And jealousy makes people spiteful. It won't get anywhere of course.”

Nodding, Louis bit his lip. “I figured.” Guilt swamped him again, it was his fault.

Harry stared at him through narrowed eyes. “You figured? So you want me to be arrested is that it?”

“What!?” Louis pulled away, appalled. “How could you even think that?” Scrambling off the bed, Louis paced away but Harry was on him before he could reach the door.

“Don't walk away from me.” Harry growled but his hands were gentle on Louis as he held him in place. “If we're going to be married we can't run away from arguments.”

“Okay.” Louis agreed and turned to look at Harry over his shoulder. “But stop assuming the worst about everything that leaves my mouth. Please.”

Louis closed his eyes as Harry's arms wrapped around his shoulders and sank into the warmth at his back. “I guess we both have things to work on.” When Harry didn't answer him Louis held his breath as he felt those hands slipping downwards and under his shirt. Against his ear he felt Harry's breath hitch as his fingers found the small curve of his belly. It wouldn't be small for much longer he knew. He was lucky to have made it to four months with nothing but a small bump but his mum told him she'd been the same when she was pregnant with him and then one day she'd just 'popped'. Louis had seen the photos; she was huge. He gasped as Harry spun him around and lifted his top.

Before he could say a word Harry dropped to his knees and kissed the swell of his stomach and Louis felt his own knees go weak. “Daisy.” Harry murmured. “I just know it.”

Louis slid his fingers into Harry's curls as green eyes met his. Feeling his heart swell in his chest Louis knew he could look into those eyes every day for the rest of his life and be happy. It hit him a moment later that he _would_ , God willing. Harry surged up then and captured his mouth in deep kiss, licking at his lips in a way that made Louis' blood boil. “Harry...”

Harry growled and lifted him off the floor, carrying him over the bed and Louis shivered as Harry's warm breath tickled his ear. “When I'm done with you...”

“I hope you're never done with me.” Louis whispered as Harry laid him on the bed.

"Never," Harry promised.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr: iamjacinth.tumblr.com
> 
> This was a bit longer than usual but I couldn't seem to stop. I might add something short to it someday - just a timestamp of their life with their child (or children).
> 
> Comments are like chocolate chip cookies to me! xx


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